Hans and Franz and the Journey to the Magical Strudel Lord's Treasury
by UltramarineGrammarQueen
Summary: Once upon a time, in a middle school far, far away, there were two boys by the names of Hans and Franz. Passionate lovers of strudel, the teenagers embark upon a journey to uphold the good of variety in their favorite pastry. Perhaps, though, strudel is not the purpose at stake. After all, the intelligence of a certain egotistical teen should never be underestimated.
1. Prologue: Hans and Franz

**Prologue**

" _ **Hans and Franz"**_

Once upon a time, in a middle school far, far away, there were two boys by the names of Hans and Franz. They were best of friends, for their bond was based upon a shared passion; a passion so great that it could only be broken by death! With every ounce of their hearts, souls, and essences, Hans and Franz loved strudel, for strudel, they felt, was the very embodiment of joy.

Each day, both Hans and Franz would bring a new and exotic strudel to share between them. Never once in eight years had either of them brought the same type twice.


	2. Chapter 1: Strudels (or Lack Thereof)

**Chapter 1**

" _ **Mourning the New Strudels (or Lack Thereof)"**_

Franz traipsed into the school cafeteria, hanging his head in shame. For the first time since the arrangement had been proposed, he had brought the same strudel _twice._ It was a difficult thought to bear, that they were running out of strudel flavors. As soon as he saw Hans, he was unable to contain the grief any longer. He collapsed onto the chair next to him and sobbed.

Hans moved to comfort him, but noticed the box which sat upon the table next to Franz. Tentatively, he lifted the top, finding an extravagantly prepared strudel inside. "I'm sorry!" Franz wailed, "It's the same! It's just a plain old apple strudel!" Hans fingered his own strudel, which sat on a plate in front of him. "Mine is just watermelon," he told Franz, "There aren't any toppings...or anything. You shouldn't be sorry. _I_ should." "Toppings do _not_ constitute a new strudel!" Franz yelled. "We need solutions," said Hans, tears brimming in his eyes, "or we may never taste a new strudel again." He began to sob along with Franz.

The sight of the sobbing friends did not cease to attract attention. Sven Strudelmeyer, an acquaintance of Hans and Franz, was no exception. He strode over to their table. "What seems to be the problem, boys?" asked Sven, smirking as he did. "STRUDEL!" wailed Franz, loudly, attracting even more attention from the students. He collapsed back onto the table, shaking with sobs.

"Well," Sven began, sensing an opportunity, "I _do_ have quite a bit of information on this matter. Perhaps I can be of service?" Both Hans and Franz looked attentively up at him. "Of course," he continued, "I would have to _sell_ you such information...but my prices are low. I'm certain you'll find them satisfactory!" Sven took a seat at the table. "We'll do _anything_!" cried a very desperate Franz. Sven smirked. " _Anything_?" he asked, just to be sure. "Anything," Franz responded.


	3. Chapter 2: A Deal to Regret

**Chapter 2**

" _ **A Deal to Regret"**_

Hans handed the money to Sven as Franz glowered from behind him. Hans stepped back, his expression now resembling his friend's. "Now," Franz said venomously, "where do we find it, Sven?" "Tut, tut, _Franz_ ," Sven mocked, "I have not yet counted the cash, and what did you agree to call me." " _Mr._ Strudelmeyer," Franz muttered quietly, "' _Sir_ ', if we insist on abbreviating."

"Ah...it's all here!" said Sven, "All $500! And don't forget the interest, boys! How much is it, again?" "We _know_ how much, _Sir,_ " Hans complained. " I want to hear you say it one more time." Sven continued to mock. "$50 for every day we are on our trip," muttered Hans. "Good!" Sven said, "Now, here is what you asked for…"


	4. Chapter 3: For the Love of Strudel

**Chapter 3**

" _ **For the Love of Strudel"**_

"Really," said Hans, "I was starting to doubt that he would give us any information at all!" Franz laughed. "It's a good thing he did...but who'd have imagined that we'd start at the zoo to find the Strudel Lord's Treasury?"

The pair wove through the traffic, seated upon their brand new TildeMobile; a gift from Sven, who had been for more helpful than expected. "This new ride is wonderful!" exclaimed Hans, the wind blowing through his hair. "For the love of strudel!" cried Franz, triumphantly, as they gained speed.

The friends arrived at the zoo about half an hour later. Hans was the first to survey their surroundings. He noticed the simple and unremarkable scape, complete with a visitors' center and an arch at the entrance. "I think we'll need tickets," sighed Franz, removing a $10 bill from his pocket, "How much money are we going to spend over this?"

The two strode to the ticket booth, stopping at the end of the line. Hans tugged nervously on Franz's shirtsleeve. "Hey," he whispered, "don't look now, but there is a _very_ suspicious-looking guy staring at us...and I think he's holding a camera." Franz nodded. "Act normal," he replied, tersely, certain that an enemy may be on their trail.

Hans and Franz now found themselves directly before the ticket booth. "Two park tickets, please," said Franz. "Entrance is free for minors," said the manager, "Say, where are your parents, boys? Who brought you here?" Franz stiffened, but Hans stepped forward. "That's my mom, over there," he said, pointing to a random woman who was on a phone call next to a park bench. "Alright," said the manager, "Here're your tickets. Have fun, boys!"

Franz ran to the entrance, Hans following closely behind. "Gosh," said Hans, "I can't believe he bought that!" Franz laughed. "Again, it's a good thing he did."


	5. Chapter 4: Oddities

**Chapter 4**

" _ **Oddities"**_

"All Sven told us," began Hans, "was that we needed to enter a vault of some sort to find 'Beaky the Pelican.' According to him, that vault shouldn't be hard to break into." "We should hope not," said Franz, "We could get arrested for this, right?" Hans took a shaky breath. "Yeah...this would qualify as illegal activity."

The two made their way to the nearby map. Hans pointed to the left corner. "This is it," he said, "The exotic birds are all in this exhibit." "But what if Beaky isn't in there?" asked Franz, "Sven told us that she's kept under high security. After all, who wouldn't want to steal a talking pelican? The zoo's made millions off of her!" Hans sighed. "Maybe," he said, "but we need to start somewhere." Franz nodded in assent.

The pair made their way to the east side of the zoo, passing habitats which housed the most unusual of creatures. On Franz' side was a large pool which bubbled and glowed with a soft, pink light. "It's beautiful," Franz remarked, "like the filling of a raspberry strudel." "I wonder what's in there…" Hans said, awed, as he stared at the dark form which was barely visible near the pool's bottom.

It was not long before Hans and Franz reached the exotic birds exhibit, housed inside an imposing glass dome. Near the entrance was a tall, metallic arch, which glittered gold in the sunlight. "It's as wide as our entire school!" cried Hans, in despair, "It's probably _bigger_ than our school! How are we going to search it all?!"

As he said this, a booming voice permeated the morning's quietude. "And now for our main event...BEAKY THE PELICAN!" The voice was followed by a myriad of cheers and claps. Franz looked up slowly, facing Hans and grinning. "You were saying?" he quipped.


	6. Chapter 5: A Pelican's Tale

**Chapter 5**

" _ **A Pelican's Tale"**_

Hans and Franz entered into a vast space with a central, enclosed dome, housing an incredible variety of birds. Visitors stood, with their noses pressed against the glass, watching the zoo employee in the center.

On his shoulder, sat an exquisite bird, with bright feathers of various colors. It practically sparkled in the sunlight, emitting a radiant glow upon the surrounding area. " _That,_ " Hans gasped, "Is _not_ a pelican."

"Hello," said Beaky, casually. She spoke with a slight English accent. The crowd erupted into cheers. "Thank you all for coming here today," she said, "As you all know, my name is Beaky the Pelican... though of course, you know, I am not a pelican. My species is called, ' _Gavia Specifiocactilamicustus,_ and I am known to be the last of my kind." The crowd cheered once again, fascinated at the bird's intelligence.

"Franz!" Hans whispered sharply, "It's him! The guy with the camera! I think he's locked onto us…" "Stay calm," whispered Franz, "We can't leave. If we do that, he'll have conformation. I don't understand. Who could possibly be against our mission? It's for the good of strudel variety!"

Hans pondered this thought. Why would anyone be inclined to stop them? There had to be a reason. They could be in danger…

Beaky continued, weaving an intricate, autobiographical tale of her life on her home island and her intrepid travels. The crowd was listening intently. "..and so, the island was corrupted," she said, woefully, "Evil overshadowed all the good that had been created by the resident strudel…" "Wait a minute," said Franz, "Did she say... ' _Strudel_?'"

Hans met Franz's eyes, but their pursuer was now advancing. Franz grabbed his friend's arm, steering them both toward the exit. They walked as quickly as possible, attempting to avoid the appalled gazes of audience members, who seemed to be wondering why anyone would want to leave at such a critical point in Beaky's speech. The man with the camera was not far behind. He pushed aggressively through the crowd, eyes locked onto his targets.

The two friends finally reached the outside. "Okay," Franz panted, "I think we've lost-" The rest was darkness.


	7. Chapter 6: Enemies

**Chapter 6**

" _ **Enemies"**_

Though he had tried many times over, Hans attempted, in vain, to escape from whatever seemed to be containing him. He was being dragged, roughly across the ground, blindfolded, and with his limbs tied together.

The ropes, he gathered, were tied extremely tightly. Hans extended his hands, feeling what seemed to be a pliable plastic, which rustled as he touched it.

 _Wait a minute._

Hans pressed his finger into the plastic, feeling it stretch and break. _What stupid kidnappers,_ he thought. Excitement flooded through him. He continued to rip through the plastic, then stepped out as gracefully as he could with such limited use of his legs.

"Hey!" a man yelled. Hans was shoved roughly to the ground. "You can take his blindfold off, Rooster," said a slightly calmer voice, "These two aren't our enemies."

Hans felt cold hands touch his face, removing the blindfold and giving him a full view of the room. Franz was beside him on the floor. Before them, stood two men, one of whom was apparently named "Rooster." "Don't be afraid, you two," said one. "We aren't here to hurt you. In fact, we are quite certain we have exactly what you're looking for."

"Likely story," sneered Franz, "What is it you _really_ want from us?" "Nothing," proclaimed the other man, "Nothing at all." He leaned in closer. "We have the key to Beaky's vault." "How could you know what we're after?" asked Franz, in disbelief. "Sven; Sven Strudelmeyer, that is," said the first man, "struck a deal with us. He told us to help you guys out if, by chance, you found yourselves on the wrong track. As for the camera, well, Rooster here just _adores_ wildlife." Franz blinked once, then nodded. "Sven told us to be as dramatic as possible...can't imagine why, though," he said.

Rooster removed a small, silver key from his pocket and tossed it in Hans' direction. He caught it in midair. Rooster's accomplice gestured to the door. "Well, boys," he said, "you'd best be on your way, now. Good luck!" Hans and Franz nodded stiffly in his direction.


	8. Chapter 7: Commitment

**Chapter 7**

" _ **Commitment"**_

Hans waited until they were out of earshot, then spoke. "I really don't know if we can trust those two," he said, darkly. Franz frowned. "Neither would I," he replied, "but they gave us the key, didn't they?" "No," Hans continued, "it's not that. Remember Rooster's friend? He said that Sven told them to be dramatic, and that he had no idea why!" "So?" Franz asked, unconvinced. "So, what is Sven up to?!" Cried Hans, "We should turn back, _now,_ before anything else-" "WHAT?!" yelled Franz, "Have you forgotten why we're here?!"

"Our safety is our priority," Hans growled, "and I don't think that _Sven_ can be trusted." Franz turned to Hans. "I'm going." he said, angrily, "I am going to find that treasury if it's the last thing I do. If you don't want to join me, then so be it!" Hans muttered something unintelligible under his breath.

"What was that?" asked Franz, in the most condescending voice he could muster, "Say that again; _louder_ this time." "I meant to tell you," said Hans, sardonically, "that there's more to life than simply _hopes, dreams,_ and whatnot! Why can't you use your brain?! Some things just aren't worth fighting for! Don't you realize that we're about to break into a vault...and for what? STRUDEL?!"

"The high security storage vaults are just north of here," mumbled Franz, ignoring the previous statement, " _if_ you're still game." "I am most certainly _not_ game," sneered Hans, "I am most certainly _not_ willing to risk anything else over this _stupid, worthless, inane_ -" "Fine!" Franz spat contemptuously. He wrenched the key from Hans' grip, retreating in the direction of the vaults.


End file.
